When we think about LEADERS, it’s easy to think about someone who moved mountains like Martin Luther King Jr. or Rosa Parks. They THOUGHT and DID big things! But guess what? YOU can be a leader too.
While reading Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking when Stakes are High by Kerry Patterson (2012), it’s been interesting to think about different ways we can successfully become leaders within our own organizations and workplaces, promoting safe and healthy changes. This reading has definitely helped me understand these ideas at a new level.
(What is a crucial, 2018)
I then started to make some personal connections while viewing a video about “Friedman's Theory of Differentiated Leadership.” These understandings allowed me to see how WE as humans can directly affect other humans! It made me think about how SMALL daily actions and interactions can lead to something BIG when it comes to positive leadership, conversations, and making necessary changes.
Within his book A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix, Friedman (2017) explains that leadership directly connects with our emotions. So first with more control of yourself, you can then have better control over other thoughts, situations, and events outside of yourself.
For example, I could make a “mental” note of what I need at the grocery store and then forget everything once I arrive, OOPS. Or I could shift a few things around to make a slight difference by changing my actions (making a paper grocery list that sits in the kitchen) and also changing my thoughts (remember to organize my list and snap a digital photo of the list with my phone before I leave for the store today). These two TINY changes can save SO MUCH time, increase my personal leadership, decrease self-sabotage, and also lessen my emotional frustration. This leads to BIG impacts!
Can you relate to this story?
What’s something that YOU have done to be a leader by making a shift in your ACTIONS, EMOTIONS, or your THINKING recently? Maybe you’ve discovered a simple solution for something in your daily life.
I would love to hear about how you were able to be a leader for yourself. If not, see if you can think of a change now that you can start to make today. Still stuck? Check out the KEY FACTORS for leadership below.
Key Factors for Leadership
In order to have these crucial conversations effectively, a few things need to happen:
(Crucial conversations)
First, leaders need to work on themselves.
So in connection to my Innovation Plan, I would ask myself, “Does this plan of implementing Blended Learning really benefit this school building? How will our students grow and change?” These answers will lead me to understanding my true goals and underlying motivations. I will also need to ensure that my STORY is straight, so I always know how to explain the Blended Learning structure, its benefits, and WHY our school is thriving within and throughout these changes.
Next, according to Patterson (2012) leaders need to make sure that their understanding of the goal is the same as everyone else’s understanding.
To do this, I will have to create a safe space for questions and dialogue discussions surrounding Blended Learning within the classroom. I will also have to be flexible and explore additional information and new possible paths as MY vision and THEIR vision for implementation come together.
Then the final phase is action, when the plans and ideas finally become reality!
As a leader, during this final section I will have to make sure everyone has a plan for their part of the Blended Learning implementation. When everyone knows how their cog functions within the machine, everything will run smoother! I will make sure everyone knows where their part must be finalized. I will also make sure accountability is high and frequent check-ins are keeping the plan on track toward success.
Implementing Crucial Conversations
Essentially, when it comes to my Innovation Plan I will have to ensure that both me and my team are NOT STRESSED during discussions and while problem-solving to find solutions. That makes a good leader during critical conversations.
When thinking about the strong emotions Patterson (2012) describes, it is essential to make sure everyone is feeling safe, heard, and understood while conversing. Any good plan could crumble under high stress or tension-filled conversations, that is why when presenting my innovation plan of Blended Learning I will ensure that conversations are smooth and everyone has a space to share their voice. My team and I will become pillars of effective honesty.
Another necessary piece of leadership conversation skills includes the the ability to handle opposing opinions. When considering my innovation plan, this ability will require me to gracefully diffuse heavy discussions, clarify, or pivot as necessary. With the incorporation of Blended Learning, I will show my team that I can achieve balance through the willingness to heed advice and also sticking to supporting our plan.
The final implementation piece surrounds the idea of high stakes conversations. Anytime a key question arises, I will make sure that everyone knows the importance of relevancy, efficiency, and improvement within the outcomes we seek for the installation of Blended Learning. Predictions are encouraged as everyone reflects and makes the implementation a strong part of their own journey.
Are you ready to have crucial conversations within your own workplace? Let’s begin by all taking the first step and working toward the same goal.
Interesting in improving your own communication? Would you like to learn more about YOUR stress style? Take this quick quiz and find out!
References
Bardwell, M. (2010, November 10). Friedman’s theory of differentiated leadership made
simple. Www.youtube.com. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RgdcljNV-Ew
Crucial conversations - employee development - boston college. (n.d.). Www.bc.edu.
https://www.bc.edu/content/bc-web/offices/human-resources/sites/employee-
development/programs/crucial-conversations.html
Friedman, E. H., Treadwell, M. M., & Beal, E. W. (2017). A failure of nerve: leadership in the
age of the quick fix. Church Publishing.
Patterson, K., Grenny, J., Mcmillan, R., & Switzler, A. (2012). Crucial conversations : tools for
talking when stakes are high. Mcgraw-Hill Education.
Style Under Stress 12 Assessment. (2021, July 21). Crucial Learning. https://cruciallearning.
com/style-under-stress-12-assessment/
What Is a crucial conversation? - AAPS news magazine. (2018, April).
Www.aapsnewsmagazine.org. https://www.aapsnewsmagazine.org/articles/
2018/apr18/career-success-apr18
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